Searching for inspiration...

June 1st.
I always have hope in a new month.
Hope that I can make some good changes that will benefit me and my family.
Sometimes I get a few things done, but it's hard to feel that I've done all I can come month's end.

So, here I am at the the beginning again.

The question for myself is How do I finally break free of the same old path I always take?

It's so hard to not feel overwhelmed and pessimistic. And I'd like to think that I'm not generally a pessimistic person. I go to bed every night feeling like when I wake up I'll conquer the day. But then I actually wake up. I AM SO NOT A MORNING PERSON. (I've heard you can change that in yourself too. That'd be nice.) Most of the time, I just wake up groggy and hungry so that it takes me forever to get going. Optimism at night. Pessimism in the morning. Not the best life plan.

The simple answer is something I already know. I'm grateful to be able to look to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for the help and guidance I need.

My husband and I have been reading from little book called "Stand A Little Taller" that is filled with a scripture and quote by President Gordon B. Hinckley for each day of the year. Even though we've read it for a number of years there are still times when the day's thought matches exactly what we are feeling at the time. That happened for me a couple of months ago after a rough day I'd had. The day's thought was "Rely on the Lord". It goes as follows:

D & C 103:7 And by hearkening to observe all the words which I, the Lord their God, shall speak unto them, they shall never cease to prevail until the kingdoms of the world are subdued under my feet, and the earth is given unto the saints, to possess it forever and ever.

"The Lord has given you this glorious Church, His Church, to guide you and direct you, to give you opportunity for growth and experience, to teach you and lead you and encourage you, to make of you His chosen daughter or son, one upon whom He may look with love and with a desire to help. Of course there will be some problems along the way. There will be difficulties to overcome. But they will not last forever. He will not forsake you." -Gordon B. Hinckley

How blessed I feel to know that I will not be forsaken. I have read these words a number of times recently. I need to apply them in my own life somehow and fight against the adversary who works to keep me down with thoughts of inadequacy and low self worth. (Hate it when he does that!)

I've also realized that I can rise above my issues because I've seen others do it. I know many personally who have been amazing to watch as they deal with death, disease, job loss, or something else much more difficult than my seemingly small problems. I am inspired to see them come through it hand in hand with the Lord.

On the public forum, I've been reading and feeling inspired by the blogs of 3 women. They are familiar to many people.

My sweet sister-in-law Celeste sent my mother, sister, and other sisters-in-law an e-mail back in February asking for prayers for the little boy of a friend of hers from high school. Sara Staker's son was 16 months old when he drown in the bathtub in late January. He was dead on arrival at the hospital. He made a MIRACULOUS recovery to the point that you can't even tell he went through so much trauma.

Can't help myself. I have to post the video of his journey.


I came across Natalie Norton's blog because a friend of mine had posted a small excerpt from a post that Natalie had done for her friend's blog. Natalie lost her baby boy to pertussis in mid-January. He was just over 2 months old. He was even named after her brother who had passed away two and a half years earlier.

For a while I saw people putting a "button" on their blogs that said, "I read Nie Nie." (Random side note: It actually reminded me of my Ricks College roommate Nissa-Lynn because her nickname in the apartment seemed to be Ni-Ni. The "i" has an "e" sound in her name.) I never thought much of it and I don't really know when I first looked at Stephanie Nielson's blog. Sometime last year perhaps? However, I wasn't ever really a follower of her blog until I started reading these other two. And like so many, once I got into it, I seemed to find myself hooked. I guess she had a lot of readers prior to her 2008 plane crash, but her words and shared experiences of her trial as a burn survivor are reaching out to so many more now.

These women are blessed with the gift of writing well. I ramble a lot on my blog, but they know so well how to uplift and inspire with their thoughts. The wonderful thing is that their thoughts are not always central to the specific trial that they have gone through. They all say the most profound things on a variety of other subjects. It always makes me want to be better than I am and I guess that's why I want to share some of my favorite posts so that maybe they can inspire you too, if they haven't already.

The following 2 posts are from Sara and Natalie. It's almost eerie how similar their thoughts are.

Sara:
A week ago...right now...
Natalie:
Impossible

These two posts from Natalie are beautiful examples of a firm testimony in God and His watchful, loving care. I love that she and her family were even blessed with a little humor to cope in their time of sorrow.

impossible...except that it's not
Conversations

Especially in this one:

Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink

In a post titled "when the day is new" Natalie also shares this quote:

Indeed, there are times when the only way the path can be followed is on one's knees.

~Neal A. Maxwell

Both of these women spent time at Primary Children's Medical Center and they walked out of it with two very different results. Despite that, they both made the decision to rely on the Lord and wrote about it so movingly.

Sara:
Chasing out fear, choosing faith
Natalie:
Prayers of Faith

As I said, I haven't been reading "The Nie Nie Dialogues" for very long, so I'm not as familiar with her posts, but here is one I found that I love so much. It just makes so much sense. I love how she talks about the love and companionship of her husband and their connection. I love her willingness to share the moments when her plane crashed. I most of all love her testimony and her reminder of God and our Savior never leaving us alone. She says it much better than I did, please be assured.

Nie: on being alone

I also love this post which happened just under a year before her accident. It reminds me to enjoy those little moments that pass by all too quickly.

Attention all mothers:

If you're LDS, and even if you're not, you've probably seen the "My New Life" video of Stephanie and her husband that was done for Mormon Messages. So, so cool (for lack of a better word). My favorite part was what she had to say towards the end of the video and the concluding quote given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.

"I'm just grateful that I'm here on this earth and I have the opportunity to be a mother and do the things that I love and enjoy. And I just, I don't know, I just view, I view my role now as more divine. It's something more -- not just a mother who wakes up and makes her kids food. It's a mother who enriches and teaches about the gospel of Jesus Christ, but it's a privilege, and I see it more as a privilege than anything. To me, beauty and motherhood are one; they're the same thing. There is a plan for us, and it's a plan that will ultimately give us the greatest joy and happiness that we will ever experience, and it is only possible through Jesus Christ. And I am grateful for this trial, and it's a blessing, even though it's hard and it's challenging, and it will be for a while."

"It's our spiritual nature, though, to turn to our God, who gave us life and has given us this mortal experience -- to turn to Him either to thank Him for the happy times or to pray for his help in the hard times." (Husband Christian's words)

"I think my relationship with Heavenly Father was really good, and it still is really good, but spiritually now I have a better sense of who I am, what my divine purpose is, what I'm doing here on earth, why I'm still here. Life has a different meaning to me than it did before."

"When suffering, we may in fact be nearer to God than we’ve ever been in our entire lives. That knowledge can turn every such situation into a would-be temple.

Regarding our earthly journey, the Lord has promised, “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up” (D&C 84:88). That is an everlasting declaration of God’s love and care for us, including—and perhaps especially—in times of trouble." Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Stephanie's husband has been writing on the blog lately because she is in the hospital again for more surgeries. They are a good match because one of his recent posts was inspiring also. (I highly recommend watching the Mormon Message he links to of President Monson as well.)

Special Rooms

My husband and I loved Elder Bednar's conference talk from October 2009 and this recent post from Sara was a good reminder of it. Consistency, if nothing else.

A Tower of Cups and a Wheat Field

And this, also from Sara, reminds me to prioritize what I do with and for my family each day.

Leftovers

Most of us have seen the YouTube video of the little girl singing to herself in the bathroom mirror about how great life is and how she can do anything. I loved what Natalie added to it when she posted it on her blog.

i like my aunts, i like my allisons

Okay, I'll stop now. I know I have a tendency to go overboard. If you really care enough to, you surely won't be able to read all the posts I've linked to in one sitting. I hope you can read at lest a few though and feel what I have felt.
However, I will end with the first post I read from Natalie, the one she wrote for her friend. It speaks to me and my current issues of striving (Don't you love that word? It means you don't have to be perfect.) to be a better wife and mother and woman.

This was written just a few weeks after she lost her baby.

Love Meets the Crazy: guest blogger Natalie Norton.

Natalie here. I HAVE to start by saying, THANK YOU to those of you who prayed for baby Gavin. Truly. I know many of you literally lifted your entire hearts in prayer on his behalf, and I am deeply grateful to you. DEEPLY.PROFOUNDLY.ABUNDANTLY grateful. I love you.

So what am I doing here on The Coterie? Well, Heather asked me to share a few thoughts on love to kick off the season.

Disclaimer:

Truth be told?

• My house is a mess.
• My kids? Well, they definitely need a bath.
• If you come to my house, NEVER open a drawer, and enter the bathroom at your own risk.
• My kids pee in parking lots and hit strangers kids at the park.
• I don't know anything about most things and know very little about everything else.
• I don't DO any of the things I'm about to share with you all.the.time. I WISH I did. Oh, how I wish I did.
  
• At the end of the day, you just do the best you can, then hit the hay, roll out of bed, and start all over again tomorrow.
  

Alllllllll that said,

here are some tips and tricks I've learned over the years
to keeping the love ALIVE in a house full of crazy.
(oh, and one thing I DO know a lot about? A house full of crazy!)

ultimately, it all boils down to this:

Love YOURSELF
and there will always be an abundance of love left
for everyone else

In my world,

1. loving myself means putting one load of laundry in every morning, FIRST THING.

Laundry is the ultimate SUCK, and I HATE nothing more than hearing my husband and my kids say "Mo'om I can't find any clo'othes!"

I've decided that I love myself too much to allow myself to get behind. Having clean clothes to wear everyday, well, it shows my man and my boys that I love them too.

2. loving myself means, sorting my mail as I walk in from the mailbox.

If I'm not careful, every single surface in my home will be COVERED by papers in 6 seconds flat. Subsequently, I feel like I can NEVER open my front door all the way when Neighbor Nelly comes a callin' unannounced.

Junk mail goes straight into the trash (I walk past the can to reach my front door). Bills go directly into the "bill cubby" the second I walk in the door, and everything that needs to be filed is filed immediately (I keep my filing system on my kitchen counter right by my fridge, so it's always accessible).

I love myself too much to feel embarrassed by my house all.the.time. Keeping things clean also shows my boys (Richie included) I love them too much to make them live in squalor.

3. loving myself means taking care of my body.

when I'm on the ball in the love department, everyday I do four things:

1. exercise (you can ALWAYS find time one way or another)
   
2. eat sensibly (that does NOT equal "diet like it's goin' outta style")
3. shower (it helps me remember I'm alive)
   
4. go to bed at a reasonable hour (aka I have to ditch out on trash tv)

Enough said.

4. Loving myself means FINDING A FREAKING BABYSITTER.

If I love ANYONE in my life, myself, my kids, my husband, my bank teller. . . I'll get a *babysitter at LEAST once a week. If I don't have that kind of break . . . oy to the ve!

Richie and I try to go out once a week. . . at least. I know more than once a week is unrealistic for most families, but we've had some extenuating circumstances in our family recently and we've found that more time together as a couple is a NECESSITY for everyone involved. If life's a little more high stress than normal, you may want to give this a shot.

If you don't have a significant other, ditch the kids and go to a movie solo. . . I do it all the time. Not as awkward as you'd assume. Trust me.

*If you can't afford a sitter, do a babysitting trade with another family in the neighborhood. FIND.A.WAY. You won't regret it.

5. Loving myself means connecting with God.

Whether through studying sacred text or listening to beautiful music or praying or reaching out to someone in need. . . I've got to take the time to connect with God every.single.day. Ultimately, he IS love after all, right? So knowing him, well, knowing him means knowing love. :)

How do YOU show love to yourself/those around you?

Happy Valentines Day Folks!

xo.

N

Uplifting stuff, isn't it? And as for myself, I shined my sink before I went to bed. That's thanks to FlyLady and her Beginner Baby Steps. I feel great.